


You like Pizza?

by nixcomix



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blow Jobs, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Hilarious, Kink Meme, Pizza
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:47:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25396387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nixcomix/pseuds/nixcomix
Summary: What happens when you want nothing more than to please him... and he’ll debase himself any way possible, in order to help you dojust that?
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 34
Kudos: 47
Collections: It All Started With Pizza Dicking - A Weird Reylo Kinkfic Anthology





	You like Pizza?

**Author's Note:**

> Please note - I normally write serious, angsty, canonverse. This was a dare. A hilarious, hilarious, dare.

  
  


Rey was on her knees between his legs – his eyes were hot on her and she knew what he wanted. She was completely bare, and she ran her thin fingers down her own skin… slowly… because she knew he liked to watch.

She only wanted to please him – Kylo was the sexiest thing she’d ever seen in life – and she’d spent  _ months  _ pining over him. Touching herself while dreaming of him… but now…

Now his dick was in her face and she wanted to puke.

“What do you mean  _ you don’t like it?” _

“Seriously, Ky – I’m sorry… I just… I just  _ gag…” _

He gestures, incredulously, “You’re SUPPOSED to gag on it! It’s HOT when someone gags on it.”

She snorts, “Well,  _ that’s  _ not very encouraging.”

He thrusts his hands through his hair with a grunt. “Well, what the fuck am I supposed to do with it  _ now,  _ huh? You’re still on your period, right?”

She leans back and points to the string poking out from between her legs and he groans again.

“Can’t I just… you know…” she gestures her hand up and down quickly, her fingers circled together. “Good old rub and tug? It _ is _ a classic…”

He shakes his head, pacing with his hard on bouncing in front of him.

“Well –  _ what  _ don’t you like about it?” He gestures down at himself, “It’s harmless – it’s a nice little guy. He just wants to – you know – live in your mouth for a hot minute.”

She grimaces and turns away slightly.

“Well –  _ fuck,  _ Rey.” He continues his pace – somehow getting harder… against the laws of science. “Does it, like… smell or something?”

She crinkles her nose… “Yeah, kinda…”

He flips his hands in the air almost joyfully. Like he's cracked the case. “Well, that’s it, then! I’ll go take a shower – perfect! Fine! Let’s go – we can go together. It’ll be like a  _ date.” _

“And I also hate the taste of… you know...”

Kylo freezes, hands on his hips as he sighs through his nose and pulls his lips into a line. His voice is cranky now, “And the shower won’t fix that?” He points down at himself.

She smirks and shakes her head.

“Well, no of course it – FUCK!” He kicks something before leaning over with his hands on his knees, pale ass in the air – like a... somehow-standing-downward-dog. Seeming bored, he flicks his hand down and bounces himself. Rey imagines a “sproi-oi-oing” sound in her mind.

His head pops up suddenly and he looks at her, slight smirk on his face. “What  _ do  _ you like, Rey?”

“Huh?”

He scoots down next to her, sliding his fingers seductively over the peaks of her breasts. He nips at the place where her neck meets her shoulder and her skin prickles. His voice is soft, “Tell me what you like…”

Her eyes close and her head tips back. He rests his hand on her throat before sliding it down – over her breastbone, her belly… and lower. Tapping her, softly, teasing.

Insistent, he presses on, “Tell. Me. What. You.  _ Like.” _

Every word punctuated by a ‘tap’ against her pleasure center. She groans a little, “I…”

His taps become firm with pressure as he moves himself back and forth over her. Her breath hitches and she can feel her nipples pearl. He whispers, “What, baby? Tell me…” his hand moves faster and her breathing picks up.

“P-pizza…”

He stops. They stop. The world stops.

He looks at her, eyebrows up to the heavens. “Pizza?”

Her face blushes  _ furiously,  _ but she nods.

He kisses her – a quick hard peck. “Then my baby’s getting fucking PIZZA!”

He shimmies himself over to the pants that lay on the floor. He eyes her warmly, fingers trailing up and down her as he intones, “Hey Siri… order pizza.”

“I found six places nearby for… pizza.”

His voice is near a whisper, “Pick the first one.”

“Calling.”

“Hello, thank you for calling –“

“Delivery,” Kylo cuts the guy off, leaning in to lick her tits.

“Ooohkay, got your number here – we’ve got the address – what can I get-“

He flicks her clit again and she cries out, “Hawaiian!” in a tight squeal.

Kylo groans over her. “Baby, I fucking  _ love  _ Hawaiian pizza.”

There is a pause on the other end of the line. “Soooo… Hawaiian. Right. Anything else?”

“No.” Kylo says brusquely, about to hang up, when suddenly, “WAIT!” he basically screams at the guy.

“What?”

“Coke. I also want coke.”

“We only have Pepsi.”

“FINE!” Kylo throws the goddamn phone before diving back in between her breasts, “Why do they only ever have fucking Pepsi…?”

She breathes against him, “I can’t tell the difference.”

He pulls back once more. “Seriously? A woman who can’t tell the distinct difference between Coke and Pepsi is all up in arms about gagging on my glorious cock?”

She grins and kisses him, “Whoever said it was glorious?”

“I’ve had several news articles written about it…”

She snorts against him, “Fake News…”

He kisses her so deeply she can barely breathe. He groans into her mouth. “Touch me baby – keep me hard, keep me  _ rock  _ hard for you.”

So she caresses him, lightly, sweetly. He tucks his head into the crook of her neck and his black, silken hair drifts over her. “Harder.”

So she grips him and he hums a sound of satisfaction. She pumps him once and then stills.

“Again.”

And she does – stopping once more.

“Please, Rey.”

Two more.

“Oh, God – don’t make me beg you,” he suckles her and she hitches in a breath, her strokes starting in earnest.  _ “Fuck,” _ he whispers. “Just like that… juuuust like that.” He takes his lips between his teeth and bites down.

Both their heads pop up in unison as the doorbell rings.

“That was fast,” he pants. “That was… unnaturally fast.” He looks at her, confused, “Can they even  _ make  _ pizza that fast?”

She shrugs.

Looking her up and down he grins salaciously. “Don’t,” he pecks her mouth, “You,” he licks her throat, “Move,” he bites down, making her gasp a little.

He jumps up and seems like he’s about to run out the door naked before he thinks better of it. They’re at her house – so he just  _ grabs  _ something to throw on. It’s a silky purple robe with flowers, but he doesn’t seem to care. He ties it around himself and his hard on still rages through the fabric.

Looking heroic, he grins, “I’ll be right back,” before darting off.

“Don’t forget the tip!!” She calls after him.

Echoing from down the hall, “I woooon’t!”

She re-situates herself on the ground, lightly plucking his beard hairs from her chest. Honest to God, she should get him to shave that thing off again.

In a matter of moments, he’s back and he’s grinning like the devil. He scuttles over to her in her purple robe, his mouth opening wide in glee, “Looook, honey!” He pops the cardboard lid off, “It’s HAWAIIAN!”

She giggles and leans over to kiss him and kiss him and kiss him.

He smiles so sweetly at her. “I love you.”

She grins and hums back into his mouth, “I love you, too.”

They look at each other… then look down. Up at each other… and then back down again.

He sounds tentative, “We should consider that maybe we didn’t think this through all the way…”

She nods, “It looks quite…”

“Steamy.”

“Yes, steamy.”

They both frown for a moment and Kylo starts biting his nails. He looks at her, gesturing, “I mean you don’t expect me to actually… put my dick in that, do you?”

She rolls her eyes at him, “I thought that was the point!”

He waves his hands slightly, “That  _ was  _ the point – but that was before I thought about that searing  _ cheese  _ all over my cock – okay?!?”

They both stare at it again, contemplating.

“… what if we put it in the fridge for a minute?”

He nods, slowly, “That could work… sure.” He grabs the box and stalks away once more, purple robe cascading behind him in waves.

“Hey, honey?!” he calls out.

“Yeah, babe?”

“Can we… can we, like, move this to the kitchen? I want to be ready for, you know… when it’s ready.”

She rolls her eyes and grunts out, “Fiiiine,” pulling herself up and padding softly over to the kitchen.

He’s grinning at her when she gets there and he glances at the fridge, wiggling his bottom. He pats the counter top and crooks a finger at her. She shows him a shy smile, and tiptoes over. Once near, he lifts her in the air and plants her straight on the island. “Where were we?”

She reaches down and wraps her hand around him once more, and his breath stutters, “Oh yeah – I forgot.”

She smiles, “How could you forget?” as she starts pulling on him, building him up again.

“Rey, God – you feel so good.” He thrusts his hands into her hair and tugs slightly. “I wish it was  _ you. _ I want to feel you wrapped tight around me.”

She keeps her rhythm, but oh, it turns her on  _ so much _ when he talks like that. And he  _ knows  _ it.

“I want to feel you get wet for me. I want to feel you  _ soak  _ me. I want you to  _ drip  _ all around me when I’m locked inside your hot cunt.”

She moans into him as he licks up her neck. “So pretty – such a pretty girl. My pretty girl.”

“Ky,” oh – how she aches for him. Why? Why-oh-why’d she have to be on the fucking  _ rag!? _

He pants, “I wanna come in your mouth, baby.”

She doesn’t stop her rhythm, but her tone flattens. “We didn’t discuss that.”

“Want to feel it run down your throat.”

“We specifically are trying not to make me gag…”

“I wanna feel your throat close over me, so tight.”

She stops tugging and just…  _ looks  _ at him.

He looks back, innocently. “Do you think the pizza’s ready?”

She shrugs.

With enthusiasm, he bolts. “Let’s CHECK!”

In the fridge, he pops open the box and digs his finger inside. “Perrrrfect.” He turns around and pops the digit into his mouth, groaning a little for show. She bites her lip.

And then they look at each other.

And down at the pizza.

And at each other.

And at the fucking pizza.

He falters, “So – I just – what? Roll myself in it?”

She knits her eyebrows together. “Iiiii guess…?”

They stare at it for a minute more and he starts to shrug off the robe. Looking at her a little shyly, he turns away – doing God knows what – except for the fact that she hears some kind of squelching sound.

“Baby?” She asks.

“Yeah?”

“… Make sure you get the sauce.”

“Oh? Oh! Yeah... good, okay…”

When he’s done, he refuses to turn around. “This... ahh... this doesn’t look very good.” He sounds a little… off. “And – it kinda, I dunno… burns? Maybe?”

He turns over his shoulder in a panic and looks at her with wide eyes, “Am I gonna get a UTI?”

She panics, getting down on her knees on the kitchen floor. “Let me take it off you, baby.” She lowers her voice for effect, “Let me  _ suck  _ it off you.”

Why the hell not, at this point?

“Close your eyes…”

And she does.

He starts with a finger on her lips, which she kisses, softly. She opens her mouth to nip at it and he uses the opening to push her jaw wide.

His voice is heated. “Stick out your tongue.”

And she does.

He rolls a hot stripe of his body against her muscle and she flicks her tongue at the end, catching the rim of him.

“Does that taste good, baby?”

She nods, opening her mouth again, beckoning him. “Can – Can I lick it again, please?"

He hums, “Oh, my sweet baby Rey…”

The tips of him glides over her. It smells delicious. It  _ tastes  _ delicious. This is  _ really  _ fucking good pizza.

She vows to have a slice when this is all said and done with.

She slackens her jaw as much as she can, and he  _ pushes  _ into her. Softly, slowly, stopping before it becomes too much.

“Now,” he breathes, “Now I want you to suck me.”

She works her tongue and tries her best to suckle – but it’s not working… so she opts for swallowing against him instead.

He knees bow, “Fuck, Rey… yes. Just like that.”

She’s gonna gag – oh this is delicious, but she is  _ so  _ gonna gag.

And when she does – he grunts like an animal and thrusts deeper into her mouth. “Yes!”

She gags again, her internal monologue screaming,  _ Seriously, motherfucker?? _

She tries to pull her head back, but he holds her on. “Oh no no, baby, please – I’m so close. I’m  _ so  _ close…”

So she rolls her eyes and soldiers up, sliding back and forth over him. Slow at first, but then she gets kind of into it. His sounds and _ grunts _ and  _ keens  _ are driving right to the core of her.

She lets out little cries against him and he clenches his hand in the back of her hair, chanting, “So close, so close, so  _ fucking  _ close, baby. Don’t stop. Please don’t stop... please.  _ Please…” _

And with a final jerk he lets loose inside her. It tastes like tomato sauce and pineapples. She pauses, thinking…  _ Well, that worked unexpectedly perfectly… _

She rubs the tip of her finger over the bottom of her lips and stares up at him. “Good?”

He’s panting and holding himself. “Perfect.”

She looks up at him sympathetically. “Still burn?”

He huffs a laugh, “No – no. You fixed it.”

He lands heavily next to her and gathers her in his arms. “We should do that again…”

She giggles, “I’m not even sure how to ask for it.”

She feels him smile against her, “I know what to call it.”

“What?”

He kisses her once more. “Pizza Dicking.”

**Author's Note:**

> Like and share, kittens.
> 
> Follow me @Nixcomix  
> Art on FB: Nixcomix or nixcomix.com


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